Expat shares how she learned to call London home after 20 years

After two decades in the UK, a South African expat now says she’s simply “going to visit” when returning here, sharing how new migrants’ language reveals their settlement journey.

I’ve stopped stumbling over “home” after 20 years abroad. Booking flights to South Africa, I say I’m “going to visit”. Asked where I live: “London”. But earlier? Not so simple.

Newer expats tie themselves in knots. You’ll hear: “Well, my home home is Johannesburg, but I live in Manchester now.” That repeat? Classic unsettled sign. Been there.

Psychologists call it keeping a “portfolio of homes”. Really? Strugglers just idealise their origin. Braais and sunshine remembered – load-shedding or Joburg traffic forgotten. I romanticised Cape Town while cursing London rain.

The shift comes subtly. One friend said “when I go home for Christmas” about Cape Town, then corrected herself: “Actually, I meant when I go back to Bristol. That’s home now, isn’t it?”

Research terms it “working through”. For me, home isn’t choosing one country. It’s where daily life clicks. I love SA deeply – yet London’s home. Life’s built here. Routine’s here. Even know which Tesco stocks best biltong.

Hardest are expats keeping feet in both places. Freedom came when I stopped seeing “home” as betrayal, asked practically: Where’s life actually lived?

Your turn: Do you still call South Africa “home” after years away? Stumble over the word? Made peace with multiple homes?

Leave a comment on our socials and let us know.